Finding his way

One of my favorite people in the world is my nephew Michael. He's this amazingly charming guy who gives the warmest hugs and lights up my life.  He's kind, smart, and a joy to be around. He has impeccable manners, a good heart and good looks.

The total package.

Today he finds himself at a crossroads in his young life and I want desperately to help him but I'm fighting the urge to fix it for him. That's why I'm here pouring my feelings out on a blog.

A little backstory.

Mike graduated from an elite college prep high school before heading off to well-respected college on the east coast. He's completed his freshman year of college and he did okay. He didn't crush his first year and he didn't flush his first year either. 

His cumulative GPA was a 3.1 for the year. <Meh>

I know. Before the eye rolls start, I acknowledge that a 3.1 GPA would be a great result for many people. Knowing my nephew as I do, I can say with certainty that it's not indicative of either his ability or his aptitude. Not even close.

For him, it's just okay.

Worse, the all in cost for his freshman year of college was $68,000. <GULP>

Yes, some of that came from a scholarship awarded by the university but a large piece came from his hardworking parents and other relatives who want to help him succeed.

His parents have made the decision that they cannot finance mediocrity and so he won't be returning to his high priced school in the fall.

So what now? What does he do next?

That my friends is the million dollar question and that's what brings me to this post and has me all up in my feelings right now. 

The truth is my nephew doesn't know who he is yet. He doesn't know who he wants to be, where he wants to go or how he's going to get there. I take his current plight to heart because I feel I had a hand in it.

In the name of love, I've enabled him and helicoptered and now we are here. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

It's time for all of us to take a step back and figure this out. And while I'll implore him that he can't possibly map out a plan until we know the destination, my heart tells me that he'll rush to make a decision .

I know that at 19 he's likely going to be embarrassed to tell his friends that he's not going back to his east coast college in the fall.  The signs are all there that without deliberation or honest self-exploration, he'll rush into another decision to find another college.

Knowing him as I do, I predict he'll chose a college not based on in depth research and analysis but one that gets him as far away from his nagging family as he can get. He'll declare a college major that sounds good to others and not spend any meaningful time figuring out a major that really inspires him or a career that is an excellent fit for his abilities and interests.

In short, he'll do what countless young people do. Collect a credential and postpone real life for as long as possible with the hope of figuring it out later.

That is, unless I can get through to him.